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Everybody knows the pressure of a first date: Searching for that perfect outfit. Dissecting each detail when it's over to check for mistakes.

Dating can make even the most confident person lose his cool.

For your terrible amusement, we amassed the thirty funniest Louis CK quotes ever: Thank you for the images above via Guyism, Alligator Sunglasses, and the Louis CK Quotes Facebook page.

If you enjoyed these hilarious Louis CK quotes, be sure to see the most ridiculously bad tattoos and hilarious recreated childhood photos!

O'Rourke What's nice about my dating life is that I don't have to leave my house.Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. - Yasmine Bleeth If people waited to know each other before they were married, the world wouldn't be so grossly over-populated. Somerset Maugham Famous Writer needs woman to organize his life and spend his money. Loves to turn off Sunday football and go to the Botanical Gardens with that special someone. - Sure-fire singles ad by Joe Bob Briggs Yeah, I'm kind of lazy. Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. I love how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as if it might be something else, like a penguin. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it? Boobs are just proof that men can focus on two things at once. Just once I'd like to read a medicine bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness" Some day when scientists discover the center of the universe, many people are going to be disappointed to find out it isn't them.Because everyone is on best behavior during a date.

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